Sometimes I find it so hard not to compare myself with others. As much as I appreciate the connections that social networks provide, they are at times a catalyst for my tendency to compare and envy. And when I do pride and envy, and then insecurities are always the result. “Why does she get to be so beautiful and talented? Why does she get to be so happily married? Why did it work out so easily for her? Why did he pick her instead of me? What makes her better? Will I ever be beautiful enough for someone? Will I ever have the things I dream of? Why don't I have the perfect life: beauty, wardrobe, intelligence, financial security, a handsome husband? Aren't I enough? Why don't I measure up?”

I hate those feelings. I hate the discouragement that follows. I hate realizing the wasted space inside my soul where I let those kind of feelings develop. I hate that I start to believe some of those lies...and that my self confidence is damaged by letting myself think I am not good enough.

At the same time, I feel like some part of me deserves the right to feel left out, to hurt, to want more, to feel disappointed that my dreams have yet to come true, to acknowledge that life is just plain unfair.

The only antidote I know is gratitude. The conscious choice I have to make is to acknowledge what I do have, what I have been given. When I allow that to happen, when I let the perspective of the good of life as it is, of my daily blessings, peace again finds me. Still, it is a daily battle. At times it IS hard to appreciate the present, to not let discouragement weaken my resolve. At least, I am stronger than I was before. And more than ever I am determined to waste as little time as possible wishing for what I do not have.