There have been moments in the past with someone I loved... a trip to the grocery store, a song he played for me on the guitar, or a walk at sunset ... that were accompanied by a all too familiar feeling of fear; a sort of intuitive thought that I should soak up the moment, because it wouldn't last forever... because someday that relationship or that love would no longer be alive and real, but only a faded memory.
But now, for the first time, I can soak in his face, enjoy a happy moment with him, or make a beautiful memory and not have that feeling. I can say goodbye or be apart and recognize the moment when the fear should creep in... when it should make me want to hold on as long as I can, desperately... but the worry never comes. Yes, there is the ache of separation, there is the frustration of my stubbornly impatient heart, but there is not desperation, nor despair.
My heart is so open... happy, sad, passionate, comforted, giving, wanting, loving...and so little of fear.
No comments:
Post a Comment