What if our hearts lacked the capacity to heal? Would we be able to deal with the many heartaches over the years that would daily feel raw and painful? Last night, thinking back over several poignant moments that helped me to grow over my years of dating, I found myself doing more than just remembering, but feeling again the emotions of certain moments such as...
· the tenderness of when the first boy I had ever really loved held me as a I cried. It was the night we realized we weren't going to work out after all. Considering how in love with him I was, and how gradually he had been drifting away from me, it was such a bittersweet beginning to a my first deep heartache.
· the guilt when I finally admitted how selfishly I treated the only guy I've ever come close to “standing up” on a date. How pathetic my excuses must have sounded.
· the regret of forcing kisses that neither of us really meant...born out of my desperation for acceptance; which was only deepened by realizing the goodness and sincerity of his heart.
· the overwhelming compassion and kindness shown to me by a boy who was hardly obligated to anything more than a goodbye.
· the frequent loneliness and emptiness accentuated by the vacancy of the other half of my bed.
If my experiences in love and regret were etched upon my mind and heart daily, as clearly as the day they happened, I'm fairly certain I would find it difficult to cope. Indeed, if our hurt, disappointments, or embarrassments didn't slowly fade away and eventually be replaced with hope and faith, then none of us would be able to live life as God intended us to.
Fortunately, that is why our faith gives added hope and motivation to experience love, while knowing full well the pain of loss. “The Savior's...power to heal us from disappointments and to create a more selfless disposition in our hearts”1 gives us assurance that our hearts are strong enough to love, be broken, and love again.
Even in the lives of those who may not even recognize the existence of a God, their capability, inherent as creations of a loving Master, to love, to forgive, and to heal, are gifts from a Father who does not want us to be broken from the past, but instead to live daily with joy. How much more then, should we, who have faith in our Savior's atonement, go forth with the confidence that, if we allow it, every broken heart and selfish moment is anticipated, comforted, and healed by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
1-Reid, Kimberly. “Dating and the Eternal Perspective” Ensign Feb 2008.
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